Mental Metamorphosis

Every human being at some point wonders how each of us could be so unique mentally. Present a problem to a group and give them ample freedom to talk jibberish - something like the "just a minute" game - and each one will come up with atleast something unique on that issue. Wait for 40 years, and present the same problem to the same group of people again. Can you guess what will happen?

"Mental Metamorphosis" - a term coined to explain the ever changing mentality of a human being. The take-away from this is that not only are your thoughts unique compared to others, they're also unique within yourself based on the time frame. I'm not going to dwelve into time being the 4th dimension of space etcetera, but time has an essential quality to itself.

What do you think is the closest relationship that is innate and what is the best relationship that is acquired? My opinion that I just give as an example - The former is that between a mother-child and the later is that between you-significant other. You might have a different opinion, but whatever it be, these are the relationships where the two people involved seem to have a perfect understanding of the mentality of the other. Is this possible, especially when the mentalities of both the people are changing with time. Do you understand yourself completely in the first place, and when you do understand yourself, hasn't the time moved and you're already outdated in your understanding?

Think of this as Heisenberg's uncertainty principle which states that "The more precisely the position is determined, the less precisely the momentum is known in this instant, and vice versa". Translated in a crude manner, the statement says that one cannot measure both the position and momentum of a particle accurately. In our context, one cannot know the mentality of a person and the precise time of that mentality accurately.

When you hear well-known philosophers say that they're in search of who they are, I wonder if they're trying to race against time. It's not possible. Mentalities change, they metamorphize to something that you yourself can't predict, let alone someone else. Trying to understand anything "completely with precision" is trying to race against time, a concept that I cannot absorb.

Moods - A game of chain

Have you ever observed that if a Jack is the sufferer - one who's in a bad mood, Jill is the aggressor - one who's responsible for causing Jack's bad mood, a David is the victim - one who suffers the wrath of Jack's moods! In other words, the victim of a sufferer's mood is never "directly" the aggressor - a weird coincidence.

Ages ago, when only Adam and Eve existed, there were no bad moods. Now that we know the statement of the theory of "A GAME OF CHAIN", there's an easy explanation. Think about it.

When a third person was born, a breeding ground for the vicious chain reaction was formed. As population increased, the chain of ...aggressor-sufferer-victim-aggressor-sufferer... continued. On and on it went, until you become the victim and then the aggressor. There's a time lag before you become the victim again depending on the length of the chain. The smaller the chain, the faster you become the victim and hence the aggressor. The longer the chain, the happier you are.

I wish we had the technology to trace back each of the moods, and see how many times the chain passed through us in the past. As humans, we always want a solution to every problem. How do we break the chain of moods? The only way I can think of is to keep the suffering to yourself when you're the victim and not create an aggressor. Various methods have been suggested - Penance, Meditation, Maturity of thinking, Communication....

....but what we, as humans, need to realize is the simple fact that "PEOPLE HAVE MOODS". There's only one way to face the "GAME OF CHAIN" - PLAY IT!

Shadows of our life

Often, when I look back at my life a lot of memories -good and bad- pour in. Whatever be the proportion of good and bad, the "bad" and the seemingly "sunken" memories come back and overpower the "good". This hurts you throughout your life - a shadow that never tends to leave your mind.

The mind goes into a state of tug-of-war trying to convince you on one end that the "bad" instance was not your fault, while the other end constantly tells you that you could have done something to avoid it. No matter how succesful you are in life, no matter how happy you think you are, no matter how many riches you have, no matter how many wonderful friends you have, no matter how very supportive your family is, no matter how understanding your spuse is, no matter how much you travel and explore - you will finally be alone in the "mind-war" with the shadows of your life.

The "bad" thoughts make us feel terribly lonely, and strikingly helpless in this enormous space. If you are laughing at the end of all this, you're lucky to still not have experienced this conundrum or you have found a way to fight and win. But I believe that at some point in life, the shadows will come intermittently and take over you and in such instances, I hope this reading makes you realize that you're not alone in this world facing life's shadows. All of us need to fight the "shadows of our life" and live with it.

Photos....

Vinayaka Chaviti 2005

I was married to kaumudi on the 19th Dec, 2002 in Hyderabad. I had no idea she had a great artist in her. Here's the proof. This is our 3rd Vinayaka Chaviti, and we've (I have zero contribution in the artwork) always made a clay idol of Lord Ganapati.

Here are some photographs. I'm taking credit for the palavelli which is the wooden meshwork above the idol.

Do I sound familiar...

...and do you want to confirm if you have crossed paths with me sometime somewhere. Below are some catch phrases and if none of them make sense to you, we probably don't know each other. That doesn't mean you cannot contact me. My email address is available in my profile if need be.

Pawan Josyula, Pawan JSVN, Pawan Nrisimha
Rishi Valley School, Madanapalle
Tenali, Anakapalle,Mogaltur, Hyderabad
St. Mary's Junior College, Hyderabad
Special Coaching Center, Hyderabad
BITS, Pilani. BITSAA
ST, Noida
UIC
Munich, Germany
Longmont, Colorado. AMD
Chandler, Arizona. Intel

Yes....No...Alright then.

Aims and Dreams

I think of an aim as a formalized plan to achieve a dream. Everyone has their own set of aims and dreams, right? Or atleast you're waiting for that perfect dream that you would like to make happen.

The next step in my formalized plan to achieve my ultimate goal is to get into a top business school in Fall 2008. An aim keeps me motivated and interested because it is measurable, and I gain experience in the process.

What is my ultimate goal? For this, you need to know about my background. I'm one of those many aspiring engineers from India who is in the USA with a good job and living comfortably. So what next? Fight the beaurocratic ladder at work to push myself up or just be content with what I have. Is that all or can I make any difference.

I have gained something from the society - education, livelihood, comfort, happiness, security. What have I given back? This question troubles me sometimes, and I must have thought of an umpteen number of ways to answer it satisfactorily.

(Incomplete....)

Traveller's thoughts...

Hello! and Welcome to my thoughts arena. I started this page with an idea to talk about myself, what I have done, am doing and plan to do. So, what's in it for you?

That's a difficult question and everyone has their own reasons. Why would one read someone else's web log? To learn from their experiences, to be able to see someone else with the same interests as you, to seek advice, to laugh at stupidities, to relate with obstacles, to entertain themselves and most of all, just to see another traveller's thougts.